Prepared by - Ms. Frankie Collins
Designation - Ambassador, MediateGuru
About Winter Wheeler:
Winter is a former top civil litigator who has made her niche as an expert mediator. She is sought out for her unique, compassionate, and successful style handling complex matters that involve a diverse range of cultures, including Spanish speaking clients.
Most recently, Winter was a senior attorney at a prominent law firm, and it’s this extensive body of experience she brings into her current mediation practice that makes her work stand out. A graduate of Georgetown University and Tulane Law School, Winter has always combined her passions for culture, diplomacy, and the law.
Winter is the creator of The Four Cornerstones of Mediation™️, which she introduced to the world in her first TEDx talk in March 2021. She gave her second TEDx in June 2021 entitled, “Confessions of a Working Mom Who Has It All.” She is co-author of the bestselling book, #Networked. She is also creator and host of The Mediate Now™️ podcast.
She also spends her free time volunteering in her community, enjoying her husband and four children, and traveling back to Miami, Florida where she was raised as much as possible. She is especially passionate about changing the face of mediation and arbitration, by bringing compassion and listening to the forefront, and placing the litigant and emotions at the center of the conversation.
The Four Cornerstones of Mediation:
This method was influenced by her upbringing in Miami, Florida, which is a very multicultural and international city. Her experiences with other cultures and their cultural norms made her interested in learning more about how other cultures relate to one another.
Definition of Mediation by the American Bar Association:
“A private process where a neutral third person called a mediator helps the parties discuss and try to resolve the dispute. The parties have the opportunity to describe the issues, discuss their interests, understandings, and feelings; provide each other with information and explore ideas for the resolution of the dispute.”
Ms. Wheeler’s Definition of Mediation:
Mediations are a series of uncomfortable conversations between opposing parties, with the mediator as the conduit through which those uncomfortable conversations happen.
Important things to note about Mediation:
Both parties need to want mediation
Sometimes one party thinks they are going to “steamroll” the mediator and the other party, and that is not the case. Both parties need to work together to air their grievances and come to a mutual agreement. This requires a mediator to have cultural awareness and social-emotional acumen.
Mediators need to be able to realize that there is an issue and be able to recognize it - even when the issues are not brought to everyone's attention. Some examples are clients being offended but not vocalizing how they feel, clients from diverse backgrounds not understanding each other due to certain phrases and ways of talking meaning two different things to two different people, and
Mediation is meant to be a rational conversation utilizing the law.
The Four Cornerstones of Mediation ™:
Emotional Intelligence
Whether we are fully aware of our own feelings and whether we allow that awareness to control the way to which we lead our lives.
Important to know how others are feeling in a mediation. Do not assume how others feel as you want them to feel involved in the process.
Is something that everyone can improve upon individually. It does not matter if you were born with it or not.
Cultural Knowledge
Very important if you live in a diverse area or wish to pursue a career in a diverse area.
Is knowledge of the norms and values that a given culture holds. It takes time and patience to learn and understand cultural norms from cultures other than yours.
You can increase cultural knowledge by making friends and creating contacts with people from other cultures. This will allow you to become familiar in a friendly setting and give you avenues to ask future questions.
Some cultures find direct eye contact disrespectful - so becoming familiar with small nuances can help make others feel more comfortable around you.
Cultural Immersion
Is full engagement with another culture - being able to apply the knowledge you learned. This engagement will allow you to see how other cultures view the world.
Connecting with others on LinkedIn is a great way to meet others from around the world. Many are interested in doing “cultural exchanges.”
Genuine Empathy
Having genuine concern for others and their well-being.
Mediators do have a duty to remain neutral during mediations, however if you do not care about the people you are working with you cannot get into the issues they are facing. You want to be able to help them as best as you can, which requires you to dig into their lives a little bit - nothing is ever surface level.
Empathy can be learned and improved upon during childhood, but it is a harder skill to cultivate as an adult. You have to genuinely care about others.
Some lawyers do not take the time to listen to their clients and all of their issues, which often leaves some clients feeling neglected. In Ms. Wheeler’s experience, lawyers who are able to sit down and fully listen to everything might be able to resolve disputes through mediation more often than always going to court. These discussions would give lawyers an idea of what clients actually want and need, which isn't always money.
Why are the Four Cornerstones crucial to success?
You need to create an environment where clients are comfortable. You want the clients to trust the mediator and be able to become fully involved in the process. Utilizing the four cornerstones helps eliminate the adversarial feelings clients can harbor and bring into the mediation process.
Increased social-emotional and cultural intelligence will positively and predictably impact the outcomes of mediations in terms of party satisfaction, and decreased instances of parties suffering from “buyer’s remorse” after settlement.
Q&A Session:
Q: How can a mediator recognise that clients are becoming upset or agitated with the mediation process if they do not say anything or outwardly express their feelings?
A: Ask them. Sometimes Mediators have to have tough conversations, so being able to be
upfront and honest with clients is very important.
Q: Does mediation have to be worked into contracts or can mediation be voluntarily started?
A: Sometimes contracts can contain mediation contracts, but parties can always volunteer to begin mediation. More often than not, the contracts that do contain these clauses have arbitration clauses. As a result, parties are often more willing to go to mediation first as it is less expensive and time consuming.
Q: What is the difference between cultural knowledge and cultural immersion?
A: Cultural knowledge is the book-learning aspect of it. Once you have learned the basic information you need to go put it into practice by being present with people of that culture. Ms. Wheeler learned spanish in school from books and television. When she moved to Spain, she utilized her spanish skills and matriculated into a spanish university - allowing her to immerse herself into the spanish society. The difference lies in reading a book and putting it into practice.
Q: Do you think that there are internal issues that can derail a case if they are not addressed?
A: Yes all of the time. One time Ms. Wheeler had a case where a woman was robbed and injured at a shopping center. She sued a company based on where she was in the shopping center. The attorney took her word on where she was and then in mediation it came out that she was in a different location than where she said she was. Meaning that this woman sued the wrong company, so the case was unable to move forward.
Q: Do you see cases where you should not consider mediation?
A: Yes, but sometimes you do not know that until you get to mediation. In these cases, you stop or end the mediation until the other issues can be resolved.